When I get quiet with the Lord, I often feel like crying. I have learned through the years that there are many of different sources for my tears. And I've learned by asking and sitting with Him asking, what is this?
This particular morning was another one of those mornings where I was asking “why this morning? Why again?” That was how I started my journal.
I feel like weeping, again. What is it this time?
You are feeling behind with no hope of catching up or making the right choices.
There are many things to do. I was leaving in a week. I need to do to prepare my home, family, and business for being gone for a week and the transition time when I return. Then there are all the things that I feel like I'm behind on in my house and for my family.
What do I do then? This isn't true. This isn't a place I can function from either.
Go back to your values and your priorities.
Decide what you will do.
One morning when I had my quiet time, I recognized that I was feeling selfish.
I was getting ready to leave for coaching training in Florida. Leaving Alaska in winter for some Florida sunshine sounds so appealing. I'm excited for the training to improve my coaching and follow where I feel like God is leading me to go with my coaching.
I felt very clearly that God told me I was supposed to go to this training. It is stretching because one of my first thoughts was, “I don't belong there. I don't know that You've called the right person to do these big things. I’m not like them.” Part of why I am going is to overcome these fears and break out of the mold of how I see myself. I must be able to see myself as God sees me.
But this morning I was feeling selfish. I booked my tickets so I would be at my best for the training. I have a day of downtime before and after. I was feeling selfish because it means somebody needs...
Because of the roots of Halloween, my family doesn't celebrate Halloween.
I'm not telling you what to do. I'm telling you what I do and why so you can get to know me a little better.
Halloween has very, very dark roots. I believe there is still very dark stuff that happens around Halloween because there are people who take it seriously from where the roots come from.
If something can be redeemed, I’m all for it.
Here are a couple of examples
We carved pumpkins. Of course, we did it at this time of year because that's when there are pumpkins around. We used the story of The Pumpkin Patch Parable, by Liz Curtis Higgs. It’s a super cute book about how God chooses us like we choose a pumpkin. First He has to open us up and clean all that gunk out of the inside. And then He places His light inside to shine...
Emotions are involuntary, like blinking your eyes when something comes at our face. Something happens and we have an emotional reaction. We then choose how to respond to the emotion we feel but the initial feeling is involuntary. Those involuntary emotions have messages for us.
We're going to be angry and feel other emotions we don't want to feel. The responsibility comes in how we respond because of how we feel. What do we choose to do with how we feel?
What am I feeling?
What emotions can I name?
Use an emotions word list or chart with faces and pictures if you need to.
What could these emotions do for me?
What are the messages?
Some of the messages will reveal lies or wounds that need to be worked through and healed. The message may be, this is new. I need to learn this. I don't know what this looks like.
I wrestled through some fear before I opened my computer and checked the ranking on Amazon.
I realized I was afraid no one would be downloading the book. I was also afraid people would respond and not be impressed. Maybe what I have to offer isn't good enough after all.
I silenced the fears and trusted that I have been following God in this process so there's no reason to stop now.
God is so good to bless the work I did in obedience. I am humbled. I am learning to be excited and joyful. You're excitement and encouragement helps so much!
We had a great time and discussed a variety of topics like:
Are you harder on yourself than you are on anyone else?
Do you feel empty or struggle to connect with your own feelings?
Do you strongly resist asking for help?
You could be dealing with the effects of Childhood Emotional Neglect (CEN).
Emotional Neglect is a parent’s failure to respond enough to a child’s emotional needs.
Emotional Neglect is, in some ways, the opposite of mistreatment and abuse. Whereas mistreatment and abuse are parental acts, Emotional Neglect is a parent’s failure to act. It’s a failure to notice, attend to, or respond appropriately to a child’s feelings. Because it’s an act of omission, it’s not visible, noticeable or memorable.
Dr. Jonice Webb, Psychologist
I love that Dr. Jonice Webb teaches CEN is not about blaming your parents. Your parents, did the best they could with what they had and blaming them is...
I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Karen Smith of Life Connections Academy. Here's the transcript.
Karen Smith: 00:00 Hi, this is Karen Smith from Life Connections Academy. I am so honored today to be joined by Mukkove Johnson and we're going to be talking about her new book, Mess to Majesty. Mukkove Johnson is a certified Christian life coach specializing in childhood emotional neglect recovery and healing emotional wounds. She lives in Alaska with her husband of 25 years and her four children. The oldest is 20 and the youngest is two. She's written three books. The first is Christmas is About Jesus: Family Devotions for December. Then Easter is About Jesus: Family Devotions for the Easter Season, and her latest book, Mess to Majesty. Let God Love You in Your Mess. Welcome, Mukkove.
Mukkove Johnson: 00:47 Hi Karen. Thank you for having me.
Karen Smith: 00:50 You're welcome. Well, why don't you...
How many of those things that come up in your definition are things that you think, well, I don't do that or I can't do that, or I'm no good at that? Throw all those things away.
I've love to journal. It's part of how I think and process. I encourage everyone to find a way to journal for two reasons.
Use a journal to process new things that you're learning. Give yourself a place to collect the pieces that you're putting together.
Because it's your journal. It doesn't need to make sense to anybody else. Your journaling doesn't have to look anything like mine.
It's part of the way we're wired. If we write or draw something, it helps us to process it. It helps us to remember. That process of writing can look very different and very creative.
Use your journal as a record of what God said. Record where He has answered prayer. Keep your record in any way that's...
I'm starting a group I don't want to lead.
I've been working on Mess to Majesty. In the book, I share stories from my life, my mess, that I have brought to His Majesty. One of those stories is about a season when I was leading a women's ministry in my church. The story focuses on how I let comparison keep me from growing because I was comparing my leadership style and my ideas to other people's leadership style and always finding myself short. I was deferring to someone else's style instead of having the courage to step out and try my own.
As I was writing this story, I realized I was still holding myself back from leading, which is where the introduction comes in -- I'm starting a group I don't want to lead.
That was the story I told a group of ladies about this time last year and for the last year. I want to be in the group and I want a place for community and growth, but I don't want to lead.
The group has done well. We're a group of 10...
I began writing a book as an assignment in my training program. I’ve written books before but this time was different. The first books I wrote were to meet my own needs for my own children. This time I had to choose who to reach and why.
I wanted to write a book that would make an impact. A book that would begin or encourage a transformation for each woman who reads it. Through a process of prayer and planning Mess to Majesty was born.
I have felt like a mess most of my life. Often I have let that keep me from building relationships with people. I’ve also let it keep me from fully trusting God to use me.
Thankfully I learned there are people who love me in my mess. God loves to use my mess to transform me and show off on my behalf. I'm growing in my trust for Him.
As long as I made time for it writing was easy. Until I hired my editor.
I hired an editor who is encouraging me to write better than I ever have. Writing comes easy and I often leave it at...