I've been talking through seven keys to lasting transformation I have pulled these out of what the Lord has been teaching me through many years. They are what He has used and continues to use to transform me.
I am a Christian life coach, passionate about helping you learn to partner with God for lasting transformation and especially as that impacts you as a mom. That is my driving force.
How you treat the word of God about yourself - what He says about you - will strengthen or undermine how your children value the word of God. Who you are and if you believe it matters immensely. The most important thing you can do is be a living example of the principles, ideals, and faith that you advocate.
The definition of integrity is “quality of being honest, having strong moral principles and moral uprightness.” A second definition is “a state of being whole and undivided.” Maybe I'll change integrity to congruence. Congruence means that two shapes perfectly lay over the top of each other. They match. And so to me that's what integrity is. We perfectly match what we say we believe with how we actually live and the choices that we make.
That's important because our kids are watching, other people are watching. If we're don't have integrity, if things don't match, it creates friction. It causes stress. According to Dr. Caroline Leaf, a neuroscientist, it actually causes brain damage to say you're going to do one thing and to do something else because we're made to be in congruence.
I was planning out yet another program because I have so much I want to teach. I line out one program and feel like that's really what God has for me to teach and that's what I want to do. And then all of a sudden find myself recreating it or starting over completely. Why am I doing this? I asked God and what He told me was because I don't trust myself. It's because there's been way too many times where this is what I've said, this is what I've promised myself I was going to do, whether it's staying off of Facebook or getting outside or being more present with my kids or whatever it is, there's, this is what I've said I'm going to do and not doing it. I don't have that integrity with myself that I want. And so it causes me to not trust myself.
If I tell you I'm going to do something and I don't, that breaks trust, it shows lack of integrity. And depending on how big of an infraction it is, depending on the strength of that relationship, maybe we can go on and maybe we can't.
It's really a challenge with your kids because you live with them. There's lots of little infractions because of their perception of things. Life happens and we can't always follow through with our intentions. Thankfully God doesn't expect us to be perfect and our kids have a lot of grace for us, too.
Having integrity comes down to choosing what is true over what we feel. That's faith. It is hard to have integrity in our walk with Christ, that if God says it's true, then I'm going to believe it's true. Whether it looks true that it feels true, but I'm going to believe it's true. I'm going to pray through and study and meditate on what it looks like for this to be true in my circumstances right now.
God says he supplied all your needs and right now I have some needs that in my eyes, they're not met. I can focus, and sometimes do focus too much on “this is what I see and I don't like it and it doesn't match up with this”. The enemy was using that to say “you're not having integrity or you're still struggling.”
The fact that I still struggle doesn't disqualify me as a coach like the enemy was trying to convince me. It actually makes me a better coach because I'm still struggling. I'm still growing. I'm not where I want to be, but I never will be. I can use each of those struggles to ask “what tools have I forgot to use?” Or maybe it's time to learn a new tool altogether for this next season or for this next client. Maybe it's a tool I get to learn and walk out because I'm going to have a client or a relationship where I see “God taught me this tool because you need it.”
The fact that I still struggle, I'm still human. I want to be very real about that. Being a coach does not mean I have anything figured out. It actually means I'm really good at asking questions and I'm directing you to seek the Lord to find the answers that you need. Having struggles myself and having my own questions, then I can relate to your questions and I can relate to your struggle even better. I can ask you the questions that will help you get to what you need.
If there is an area you are not walking in congruence or integrity, Satan will point it out to you. It's a place he doesn't want you to see the transformation. He doesn't want you to continue to partner with the Lord for that to turn into a weapon. He wants it to stay. It's a weapon he's using against you. And once you figure it out and once you overcome, it's a weapon you can use against him. He does not want you to figure that out. He wants to keep you condemned and feeling guilty. We can turn that around on him “Thank you for highlighting this, I’ll let's fix it. Let's get rid of this spot that you have to harass me and then I can turn around and use it on you. So thank you very much for showing this to me.”
When we fail - because we're human and we're going to fail - don’t let the enemy use that to beat you up, because Jesus already bore all that condemnation, all that punishment. And so there is no condemnation for us. Now we don't have to take it and we don't have to stay the same.
Share your thoughts. Is integrity important?