When I get quiet with the Lord, I often feel like crying. I have learned through the years that there are many of different sources for my tears. And I've learned by asking and sitting with Him asking, what is this?
This particular morning was another one of those mornings where I was asking “why this morning? Why again?” That was how I started my journal.
I feel like weeping, again. What is it this time?
You are feeling behind with no hope of catching up or making the right choices.
There are many things to do. I was leaving in a week. I need to do to prepare my home, family, and business for being gone for a week and the transition time when I return. Then there are all the things that I feel like I'm behind on in my house and for my family.
What do I do then? This isn't true. This isn't a place I can function from either.
Go back to your values and your priorities.
Decide what you will do.
One morning when I had my quiet time, I recognized that I was feeling selfish.
I was getting ready to leave for coaching training in Florida. Leaving Alaska in winter for some Florida sunshine sounds so appealing. I'm excited for the training to improve my coaching and follow where I feel like God is leading me to go with my coaching.
I felt very clearly that God told me I was supposed to go to this training. It is stretching because one of my first thoughts was, “I don't belong there. I don't know that You've called the right person to do these big things. I’m not like them.” Part of why I am going is to overcome these fears and break out of the mold of how I see myself. I must be able to see myself as God sees me.
But this morning I was feeling selfish. I booked my tickets so I would be at my best for the training. I have a day of downtime before and after. I was feeling selfish because it means somebody needs...
They are overwhelming for a number of reasons.
I'm putting this out there at the risk of you all thinking I'm crazy. I feel it was an idea from God. It was helpful to me when I first used it and again when I reviewed it.
The tool is having a conversation with your emotions in a place of prayer. I think it will be Holy Spirit speaking. Using your imagination opens your mind to hear things you might not otherwise.
My journal, in a place of prayer, I was talking to disappointment. I see this is a very familiar emotion for me now that I've learned to name them.
Me: Disappointment, why are you in my life?
Disappointment: I come when things don't go as expected and when needs are not met.
M: So when did you first come?
D: You've always known...