Do you feel like you try really hard to check all the boxes - prayer, devotions, Bible study - and something is still missing?
As I have been doing interviews for the new Mess to Majesty 90 days of Transformation and Healing group program I have heard again and again a version of “I know this is true but I'm not sure”.
I know God loves me but I don't feel it.
I know I am called to more but I feel unworthy.
I know my life is missing depth of relationship but I can't risk getting hurt.
I know Jesus paid for everything but I still feel the same.
We are called to take every thought captive and renew our mind in Christ. We have an active part in our transformation. When we have taken a thought captive. We’ve put it aside and are thinking God's thought instead - and it's not working. We know the truth but it just won't stick.
When this happened to me in the past I would...
I long to know what God has in store for my future. I want to get started. I want to be obedient to His call.
So I wonder: What kind of ministry plans? What about business?
I also see I'm not always obedient today. I don’t always listen when He tells me to pray or act.
He is gracious and prompts me in helpful, gentle ways. He is teaching me His voice.
A simple thing that first brought this to my attention years ago was getting woke up at 3 am because the computer in the living room, that we use for listening to radio online, came on – loud.
As I was crawling back into bed after surviving a dark stumbling trip across the dog and the house I remembered that I had thought about turning it off before I went to bed, but didn’t. That’s not God you may say. I disagree.
I had not shut off that computer for months. Why but God’s grace would I think to turn it off that night, the night it would wake me up and confuse me?
I started to berate myself for...
When I get quiet with the Lord, I often feel like crying. I have learned through the years that there are many of different sources for my tears. And I've learned by asking and sitting with Him asking, what is this?
This particular morning was another one of those mornings where I was asking “why this morning? Why again?” That was how I started my journal.
I feel like weeping, again. What is it this time?
You are feeling behind with no hope of catching up or making the right choices.
There are many things to do. I was leaving in a week. I need to do to prepare my home, family, and business for being gone for a week and the transition time when I return. Then there are all the things that I feel like I'm behind on in my house and for my family.
What do I do then? This isn't true. This isn't a place I can function from either.
Go back to your values and your priorities.
Decide what you will do.
One morning when I had my quiet time, I recognized that I was feeling selfish.
I was getting ready to leave for coaching training in Florida. Leaving Alaska in winter for some Florida sunshine sounds so appealing. I'm excited for the training to improve my coaching and follow where I feel like God is leading me to go with my coaching.
I felt very clearly that God told me I was supposed to go to this training. It is stretching because one of my first thoughts was, “I don't belong there. I don't know that You've called the right person to do these big things. I’m not like them.” Part of why I am going is to overcome these fears and break out of the mold of how I see myself. I must be able to see myself as God sees me.
But this morning I was feeling selfish. I booked my tickets so I would be at my best for the training. I have a day of downtime before and after. I was feeling selfish because it means somebody needs...
I wrestled through some fear before I opened my computer and checked the ranking on Amazon.
I realized I was afraid no one would be downloading the book. I was also afraid people would respond and not be impressed. Maybe what I have to offer isn't good enough after all.
I silenced the fears and trusted that I have been following God in this process so there's no reason to stop now.
God is so good to bless the work I did in obedience. I am humbled. I am learning to be excited and joyful. You're excitement and encouragement helps so much!
We had a great time and discussed a variety of topics like:
I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Karen Smith of Life Connections Academy. Here's the transcript.
Karen Smith: 00:00 Hi, this is Karen Smith from Life Connections Academy. I am so honored today to be joined by Mukkove Johnson and we're going to be talking about her new book, Mess to Majesty. Mukkove Johnson is a certified Christian life coach specializing in childhood emotional neglect recovery and healing emotional wounds. She lives in Alaska with her husband of 25 years and her four children. The oldest is 20 and the youngest is two. She's written three books. The first is Christmas is About Jesus: Family Devotions for December. Then Easter is About Jesus: Family Devotions for the Easter Season, and her latest book, Mess to Majesty. Let God Love You in Your Mess. Welcome, Mukkove.
Mukkove Johnson: 00:47 Hi Karen. Thank you for having me.
Karen Smith: 00:50 You're welcome. Well, why don't you...
How many of those things that come up in your definition are things that you think, well, I don't do that or I can't do that, or I'm no good at that? Throw all those things away.
I've love to journal. It's part of how I think and process. I encourage everyone to find a way to journal for two reasons.
Use a journal to process new things that you're learning. Give yourself a place to collect the pieces that you're putting together.
Because it's your journal. It doesn't need to make sense to anybody else. Your journaling doesn't have to look anything like mine.
It's part of the way we're wired. If we write or draw something, it helps us to process it. It helps us to remember. That process of writing can look very different and very creative.
Use your journal as a record of what God said. Record where He has answered prayer. Keep your record in any way that's...
That might seem like common sense, but would the Lord told it to me last week, it was a freeing revelation.
I was trying to make twenty plus quarts of salsa, edit my book, and all the normal responsibilities of life. I was frustrated trying to figure out how to get it all done.
The idea of needing a container or a space for everything made perfect sense. I hope the idea helps you, too.
Tasks have at least three containers; time, energy, and focus.
How much time do you need and when are you going to take that time? I neglected to accurately figure out how much time the salsa would take. Editing, too. This made my week too full. The time containers were full. Overfull.
How much energy does a task take? Trying to but a high energy task at the end of a long day is going to be hard and likely frustrating, especially if you didn’t think about the energy it will take.
What I feel is bad. I don’t know what to do with it. I should be able to stop feeling this way because these feelings aren’t helpful.
Our other senses give us valuable information about our physical world, emotions give us valuable feedback about our relationships - with God, yourself and others. We would never wish to stop seeing or hearing, why do we wish to stop feeling?
Because we don't know how to hear the messages they have for us.
How does your body feel? How are you breathing? Where is there peace? Where is there stress? Where is it coming from?
If you want help you can use a list of emotions to get you started. Name as many emotions and reasons for them as you can.
Once you know where the emotions are coming from and what they are called you can ask what the emotions are trying to tell you. Is there someone you need to...
They are overwhelming for a number of reasons.
I'm putting this out there at the risk of you all thinking I'm crazy. I feel it was an idea from God. It was helpful to me when I first used it and again when I reviewed it.
The tool is having a conversation with your emotions in a place of prayer. I think it will be Holy Spirit speaking. Using your imagination opens your mind to hear things you might not otherwise.
My journal, in a place of prayer, I was talking to disappointment. I see this is a very familiar emotion for me now that I've learned to name them.
Me: Disappointment, why are you in my life?
Disappointment: I come when things don't go as expected and when needs are not met.
M: So when did you first come?
D: You've always known...