Connect with Your Life, Emotions, and Relationships

Living disconnected

Cindy began working with me because she felt disconnected from her life - her emotions, her marriage, her interests, everything - and she didn’t know what went wrong or how to fix it.

Living disconnected, watching life pass her by was not how Cindy wanted to live. Looking for answers, she read some books. 

Soon she realized this was a journey she wasn’t going to make on her own. There was too much she didn’t know, too many things she needed a new perspective on.

Reaching out

Cindy reached out to me and shared how she was struggling. I assured her I could help because I could relate. I have been there. The Lord has brought me through. I have a passion to help others come through faster and with less pain than I did so, I have been identifying tools and sticking points for years.

Cindy and I worked through my Step into Peace Program. We started with learning to hear God’s voice. The rest of the curriculum has been helpful but these...

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Do You Struggle to Celebrate?

overcoming self-care Dec 26, 2019

Celebrating can be a struggle if you grew up being told not to get too excited or not to think too highly of yourself.

Celebrating is important. Even celebrating ourselves. God wants to bless us, He wants to change us. He wants us to give credit where credit is due, we can do nothing without Him. Too often that seems to translate to we can do nothing.  With Him, we can do all things. Like a proud papa, He enjoys us being proud of what we've accomplished.  

I love to reflect at the end of the year.

I love to reflect all the time, but especially at the end of a year. One of the blessings of writing our Christmas letter every year is looking back over what God has done in our lives that year.

Practice celebrating

Celebrating is a struggle for me so I’m practicing. I’m making a list of things from 2019 to celebrate and I encourage you to do the same. 

Brag on God. 

Be proud of yourself.

Here’s the start of my list:

  • I had a fabulous trip to...
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It’s the Week Before Christmas and All is at Rest 

rest self-care Dec 19, 2019

It’s the week before Christmas and all is at rest. 

 Wouldn’t that be lovely? To rest in this beautiful time of year? 

I really enjoy sitting on the couch with only the Christmas tree lights on, preferably white. I finally won my children over from colored. The white lights are so peaceful to me.

How often do I take the time to rest and enjoy my tree?

Not often enough, the list of things to do is too long. Who still needs gifts? What will the gifts be? What about the annual Christmas letter? Gifts to send to family far away should be gone already and they’re not done either.

It is a struggle to rest in the midst of all these extra demands.

I’m getting better. Rest has to be important enough to make time and room for.  That means other things have to be adjusted, reduced, or even eliminated.  

I also realized this morning I have not been taking time to meditate on the richness of God’s gifts to me. We often say...

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Are Your Holiday's Holy Days?

overcpmong rest self-care Dec 12, 2019

Our culture is so busy. Expectations are so high.

Holidays seem to magnify everything. Holidays in themselves are not the problem. God set up days for Israel to remember. They were holy days. (See where we got holidays and perhaps went wrong). Holy is set apart, different, special. The days were to remember Him, His goodness, His deliverance, and His promises.

It is so easy today to get wrapped up in the preparations, the presentations, and appearances. If you go to the store, look at magazines, get on Pinterest, everyone seems to have better ideas and everything more together.  But really do you post your everyday reality online or do you post your best? Most everyone is posting their best for you to compare to.

I have a challenge for myself every holiday season. You are welcome to share it.

See I wrote this book called Christmas is About Jesus. I wrote it because I believe it’s true. Yet every year after the black and orange and skeletons finally leave the stores,...

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Is There A Message In My Weeping

When I get quiet with the Lord, I often feel like crying. I have learned through the years that there are many of different sources for my tears. And I've learned by asking and sitting with Him asking, what is this? 

This particular morning was another one of those mornings where I was asking “why this morning? Why again?” That was how I started my journal. 

I feel like weeping, again. What is it this time? 

You are feeling behind with no hope of catching up or making the right choices. 

Obviously under some lies there

There are many things to do. I was leaving in a week. I need to do to prepare my home, family, and business for being gone for a week and the transition time when I return. Then there are all the things that I feel like I'm behind on in my house and for my family. 

What do I do then? This isn't true. This isn't a place I can function from either.

Go back to your values and your priorities. 

Decide what you will do. 


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What to do with an Emotion that Doesn't Fit

One morning when I had my quiet time, I recognized that I was feeling selfish. 

I was getting ready to leave for coaching training in Florida. Leaving Alaska in winter for some Florida sunshine sounds so appealing. I'm excited for the training to improve my coaching and follow where I feel like God is leading me to go with my coaching.

I felt very clearly that God told me I was supposed to go to this training. It is stretching because one of my first thoughts was, “I don't belong there. I don't know that You've called the right person to do these big things. I’m not like them.” Part of why I am going is to overcome these fears and break out of the mold of how I see myself. I must be able to see myself as God sees me. 

If I am obeying why did I feel selfish?

But this morning I was feeling selfish. I booked my tickets so I would be at my best for the training. I have a day of downtime before and after. I was feeling selfish because it means somebody needs...

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Involuntray Emotions

self-care soul healing Oct 24, 2019

Emotions are involuntary, like blinking your eyes when something comes at our face. Something happens and we have an emotional reaction. We then choose how to respond to the emotion we feel but the initial feeling is involuntary. Those involuntary emotions have messages for us. 

We're going to be angry and feel other emotions we don't want to feel. The responsibility comes in how we respond because of how we feel. What do we choose to do with how we feel? 

Choose how to respond

Step back from it a little bit and ask: 

What am I feeling?

What emotions can I name?

Use an emotions word list or chart with faces and pictures if you need to.


Then ask:

What could these emotions do for me? 

What are the messages? 

Some of the messages will reveal lies or wounds that need to be worked through and healed. The message may be, this is new. I need to learn this. I don't know what this looks like. 


Use the information to make a wise choice

Is there...

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You Can't Put Things into Containers that Don't Exist

hearing god self-care Aug 29, 2019

You can't put things in containers that don't exist.

That might seem like common sense, but would the Lord told it to me last week, it was a freeing revelation.

I was trying to make twenty plus quarts of salsa, edit my book, and all the normal responsibilities of life. I was frustrated trying to figure out how to get it all done.

The idea of needing a container or a space for everything made perfect sense. I hope the idea helps you, too.

Things in your life that need a container


Tasks have at least three containers; time, energy, and focus. 

How much time do you need and when are you going to take that time? I neglected to accurately figure out how much time the salsa would take. Editing, too. This made my week too full. The time containers were full. Overfull. 

How much energy does a task take? Trying to but a high energy task at the end of a long day is going to be hard and likely frustrating, especially if you didn’t think about the energy it will take.


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8 Tips for Calming the Chaos in Your Life from Facebook

rest self-care Aug 15, 2019

Here are 8 simple tips to help calm the chaos that can be Facebook. They are simple but they may not be easy to implement.

  1. Decide why you're getting on Facebook before you login or click to open.

  2. Set a timer that you have to physically move to turn off. I often use the timer on my oven. It won't shut off until I push the button and I have to move to go do that.

  3. Connect with a true friend or a truly supportive group where you can be vulnerable and show up in your chaos when you need to.

  4. If there is a group you want to follow but there are too many posts or too many conversations you can search within the group. On your computer, the search is usually in the left sidebar. On your phone, it usually shows up at the top of the screen. Make sure you are in the group when you search. If you are in a parenting group, rather than reading all of the posts, simply search what you're looking for help with. (ie. enter: potty training or chores or encouragement). Read the posts that come up in...
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I Wish I Could Stop Feeling!

What I feel is bad. I don’t know what to do with it. I should be able to stop feeling this way because these feelings aren’t helpful.

Feelings are helpful when you know how they work

Our other senses give us valuable information about our physical world, emotions give us valuable feedback about our relationships - with God, yourself and others. We would never wish to stop seeing or hearing, why do we wish to stop feeling?

Because we don't know how to hear the messages they have for us. 

How do we get the messages

Feel the emotion

How does your body feel? How are you breathing? Where is there peace? Where is there stress? Where is it coming from?

Name the emotion

If you want help you can use a list of emotions to get you started. Name as many emotions and reasons for them as you can.

Ask what the message is

Once you know where the emotions are coming from and what they are called you can ask what the emotions are trying to tell you. Is there someone you need to...

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