Involuntray Emotions

self-care soul healing Oct 24, 2019

Emotions are involuntary, like blinking your eyes when something comes at our face. Something happens and we have an emotional reaction. We then choose how to respond to the emotion we feel but the initial feeling is involuntary. Those involuntary emotions have messages for us. 

We're going to be angry and feel other emotions we don't want to feel. The responsibility comes in how we respond because of how we feel. What do we choose to do with how we feel? 

Choose how to respond

Step back from it a little bit and ask: 

What am I feeling?

What emotions can I name?

Use an emotions word list or chart with faces and pictures if you need to.

 

Then ask:

What could these emotions do for me? 

What are the messages? 

Some of the messages will reveal lies or wounds that need to be worked through and healed. The message may be, this is new. I need to learn this. I don't know what this looks like. 

 

Use the information to make a wise choice

Is there...

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Behind the Scenes of Mess to Majesty

overcoming soul healing Sep 12, 2019

The Idea

I began writing a book as an assignment in my training program. I’ve written books before but this time was different. The first books I wrote were to meet my own needs for my own children. This time I had to choose who to reach and why.

I wanted to write a book that would make an impact. A book that would begin or encourage a transformation for each woman who reads it. Through a process of prayer and planning Mess to Majesty was born.

I have felt like a mess most of my life. Often I have let that keep me from building relationships with people. I’ve also let it keep me from fully trusting God to use me.

Thankfully I learned there are people who love me in my mess. God loves to use my mess to transform me and show off on my behalf. I'm growing in my trust for Him.

As long as I made time for it writing was easy. Until I hired my editor.

I hired an editor who is encouraging me to write better than I ever have. Writing comes easy and I often leave it at...

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Why Am I Never Enough?

“Why do I always screw up?!”

I can’t begin to count how many times I’ve asked- yelled, this to myself. So miserable and so desperate to not feel that way.

Why do I feel I’m never enough?

I absorbed the feeling from my childhood of not being good enough. No one told me I wasn’t good enough, but I felt it all the time. 

I decided results fell into two categories, Perfect and Failure. I also picked up the lie that I was my behavior. Therefore I fell into those two categories as well. 

Perfect or Failure. 

I’ve recently seen that Perfect was never defined. If it wasn’t defined I could never know if I achieved it. Therefore I was always a failure. Always. 

Excellence was held up as the standard but it was code for Perfect. There was also a strange sense of being no learning curve. I thought I was just supposed to be able to do something and of course, do it perfectly. 

Totally unattainable, totally below the...

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Embrace Your Mess: Bring it to His Majesty

I am such a mess! Always! Why can’t I get it together? How can God use me when I’m such a huge failure?

This was my heart cry for so many years. I felt so messed up. So convinced I was broken and no one could fix me. Not even God. If He could fix me I was somehow messing up the process so He couldn’t.

I struggled to stretch my insecure, introverted self to go to a women’s retreat with the church. Other women had so much fun and got so much out of them. 

The setting was beautiful. The lodge was in the mountains of Alaska, away from the normal busyness of life. Log walls and candles made the chapel so peaceful. Mealtime was in a stunning log lodge with beautifully set tables. I soaked up the worship and the teaching. 

I felt left out and so out of place the rest of the time; like a kid who has no one to sit with in the lunchroom. The women were nice, they were glad I was there. I was too, and I wasn’t.

I braved sharing my struggle with one of...

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Does it Come Naturally to Recieve God's Love?

Have you ever shared something you were struggling with and felt worse instead of better?

I have. I would share with someone how I was struggling, whether it was with my own self-image, or trying to live the good Christian life, whatever it was. Often the answer was something along the lines of, "just receive God's love".

I wanted to scream or slap them. I wanted to scream, "If I knew how to do that, don't you think I'd be doing it already?" (maybe part of that was it took being pretty desperate for me to ask for help, but that's another topic)

Making it worse

I didn't know how to say they made it worse. It seemed so incredibly obvious that I should just know how to receive God's love. If I wasn't doing it then it had to be because I wasn't trying hard enough, I wasn't being sincere, I wasn't letting God love me. Those things that just weren't helpful at all!

They added more condemnation, shame, and confirmation of the deeply rooted belief I had that I was somehow uniquely...

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Can You Say That Again, God?

 

Does God speak? Can you hear Him?

This video was recorded on Monday with Mukkove, a weekly feature in the Ready. Set. SOAR! Community on Facebook.

Edited transcript:
I felt like I failed all the time and 
was miserable. And it didn't matter how hard I tried. It didn't work. Other people would come from a conference or read a book and say, ”This was life-changing! Just do this. I would try to do that and it just wouldn't work. It just would convince me, It's me. I'm severely broken. I'm severely messed up, severely flawed. 

I wanted to be pleasing to the Lord and wanted to be impacting people for the Lord. Trying harder was not working.  

When I learned to hear God's voice for myself, I began to be able to see myself the way God sees me. That allowed Him to transform me through transforming my thinking instead of me trying to transform my thinking without having that...

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How Being Overwhelmed Pushed Me to Grow

Becoming a mom was the most amazing end overwhelming thing in my life - all four times.

We teach what we know, but we reproduced who we are. John Maxwell

The truth of this quote terrified me because I did not want anyone to be like me. I was so insecure. I had so much self-hatred. I did not like myself and I didn't understand how anyone else would like me. I did not want to reproduce that ever. So, knowing I would reproduce who I was, terrified me.

 We cannot always build the future for our youth, but we can build our youth for the future. Franklin D. Roosevelt

This quote embodies the philosophy that I took out of that terrifying realization. It became my passion as a mom to become someone I wanted my children to be like. I worked with the Lord to be transformed into His image - from glory to glory. And as I did that, I learned tools and I modeled the process to my children, to build their foundations and build them for the future.

We are Pioneering

We're in a time no one...

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Let Pressure Push You to Healing

I’m an emotional wreck. I can’t think. I can’t hold back the tears and this intense ache.

A clear thought breaks through the suffocating emotion.

This hurts way more than it should. This is just normal teen stuff. They want to be with their friends. It’s a really busy season.

Why is it hurting so bad? What is it I’m really feeling?

I’m feeling SO rejected!

Rejection and I go way back. Way, way back. That’s why this hurts so bad. It’s time to heal.

I’m feeling pressure, stress, from other’s choices. I feel rejected. A crazy thing about feelings is I can feel rejection without ever having been rejected. This isn’t about blaming or figuring out who rejected me. It’s about me examining the wound with the Lord and receiving His healing so I can deal with current events as just that – current, present – not clouded and confused by past wounds.

Looking at pressure like the lobster, it’s time to grow....

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3 Ways Your Mistakes Bless Your Children

Do you struggle with wanting to be prefect? To do everything right?

I do! Especially when it comes to my kids. I mean, why should they have to suffer because I’m their mom and I’m not perfect?

Making mistakes is inevitable. So, it’s not the making of mistakes that is the issue. It’s what I do with my mistakes that has the biggest impact on my children.

I serve the God who specializes in bringing beauty from ashes. God showed me He wanted to use my mistakes to bless my children, too.

Awesome! Right?

My mistakes bless my children when I model repentance and reconciliation.

Whether I hurt my child, or they know I hurt someone else, they can benefit if they also see me clean up my mess.

I can make a full apology, “I’m sorry” doesn’t cut it.

  • I need to explain why what I did was wrong.
  • I need to make an educated guess about how my choice affected them and listen to their feedback.
  • Then I can say I’m sorry. Still not done,...
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Removing Lies Rooted in Regret

Regret isn’t something I’ve given too much thought until recently. I read a word from Lana Vawser that said God was taking bags of regret off of mothers. The bags of regret or lightened as the lies were revealed and made holes in the bags.

I realized I have many regrets as a mother. And events this week have made them come very much to the forefront.

I started taking my regrets one at a time and identifying the lies that went with them.

I regret not doing things differently in my home school.

  • I’m a bad mom
  • I’m a bad teacher
  • I failed my kids
  • I could have made everything so much easier
  • I could have done so much better, so much more

I regret allowing fear and insecurity to direct my choices

  • I’m a failure
  • I should have done things differently
  • I’m a bad example

After I had identified the lies I asked the Lord the truth.

  • I’m a good mom
  • I’ve done well by my kids
  • God is working everything for my good and my...
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